What happens when
ears are full of cotton?
What happens when
mouths are full?
What happens when
hands are touching phones?
My voice becomes
barely a whisper.
The sound I love
fades into the background.
My wrist bare
the emptiness I
once contained.
There was a glimmer
of a friendship
that could have
lasted forever.
There was a glimmer
that life could
be worth the pain.
There was a glimmer.
With me,
Darkness consumes
everything.
Our first true hug,
with it,
you were saying "goodbye".
Each promise,
"I'll keep in touch",
"I'll always be there",
gave me hope,
till I heard
the lie underneath.
Forgotten again,
the scars begin to fade.
No one noticed,
just as before.
With All My Love <3
S.L.u.G.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Thursday, February 5, 2015
Depression and Fears
Darkness
Deep, Surrounding, Suffocating.
This is what my depression feels like. I'm lost in a sadness that consumes me. An non-explainable feeling, but a feeling I need to express. To share. My head swarms with thoughts, fears, that take hold of me. It's like trying to swim against the current and never able to break the surface to catch even the smallest breath. My chest swells. A feeling that is not only painful, but unbearable in the way that it suffocates me. The tears are unstoppable. They are not cold, but streak down hot with the anger and the fears deep inside.
I keep it hidden from public because I find it shameful and weak. When it hits in public, I hide it behind a fake smile, or yawn and blame the tears on being sleepy. How could I let anyone see me in such a helpless state? It is easier to bare the sadness inside than it would be to bear the looks and whispers of the faceless figures all around.
"She has depression."
"The poor thing."
I don't want to take medicine to help my depression. The thought to have to rely on a pill sickens me. It makes me feel like I am broken and need to be fixed. Please...please...don't try to fix me. But I do need help. I don't know how to ask for it. My depression is getting worse. It happens more frequently. Part from my stressful job and life. I could finally reach my breaking point and lose. I could fall beneath the waves and give up on the struggle, allowing the current to pull me under and take me away.
Fears. They cause the depression. Fears of everything.
Of something happening to the ones I care. I constantly fear the loss of my little sister. She is the branch I hold onto that keeps me afloat. She is my world. We have almost lost her on multiple cases. I was the cause for one. I think about it often and think about what would have happened if she hadn't survived. I dream often of something happening to her and losing her forever.
I fear my friendships. Fear that they are not strong enough to last, or that my friends really don't care. Don't care about...me...or our friendship. I take every excuse they have for not wanting to make time for me as a sign that they don't care. I read into every little joke too seriously, wondering if it really is just a joke...or if they really mean it. I'm just a tease to one of my best friends. He does nothing but poke fun towards me and make jokes at me. I know it is his way of showing he cares, but it hurts me deeply that I can't have a serious conversation with him...I once wanted to date him...My other best friend once made it clear that she would rather take pictures with complete strangers than with me...She's getting married and I found out via FB...and wasn't included in the wedding party...My last best friend...our relationship grew out of distrust. He didn't like me because he met me during a time when I was running high off of emotions and low on logic and did something stupid. I fear that if his two friends hadn't been away from the dorms and school that year that we would have never become best friends. He's the closest friend I have and at the time when my depression hit the hardest, he asked "could this wait till tomorrow". The tears fall now just typing that.
Fears of the decisions I have made consume me. I fear the way they have an effect on my life and on the ones I hold dear. I have made a decision recently. I do not consider it a bad decision because it is something I want. My boyfriend always says we shouldn't regret the decisions we make because it is what we wanted...however, this decision has hurt him, and I haven't even the courage to tell him what it is that I did. Our relationship did not start off on solid ground (I cheated on my bf at the time to get into the relationship). I fear this has left a cap of non-trust in our relationship...and I fear that this decision will tear at the remaining trust when I do tell him. I must tell him...but I'm afraid. I'm afraid that he'll never look at me that same...that he'll be disappointed in me. It hurts me to think that I have disappointed him. I'm afraid of his reaction and the effects it will have on him. But I am also afraid that I am not ashamed of the decision...and I'm afraid of that decision. I am afraid because I do not know what will happen next.
The future scares me and brings me into my depression often. I worry about my job. Am I good enough? I just moved to a new house that I'm renting. What will happen if I get fired? Will they fire me? Am I giving them a reason to fire me? Last week I felt like I was. We run off of metrics that we need to meet each month. One of the metrics is based on how well we follow our schedule. Mine hasn't been meeting lately. My manager and area manager spoke with me about it last week. I felt like I was being punished. I felt weak again. It's a metric that should be easy to meet, but I couldn't even come close. What does that say about me? It made me feel like I was no good. I often feel like I'm no good at my job because of those metrics. I fear the unknown of my future. I try not to think about my future often (I like to live in the moment) and I feel that might be why I fear my future. Where have I gone in the past ten years? My ten year reunion for high school comes up in two years. What have I done since then? I barely graduated from college with a BA in English. I struggled with my first place where I had to leave it early and move back in with my parents and I'm just finally have moved out of my parents place. When I look back on what I have done on my life, it's like there there is no color in my life. I feel like I have accomplish nothing (though I know that I have). The best times of my life were in college and I feel like I never left. I am always stuck in my past, therefore; I cannot look towards my future. My boyfriend is looking at moving North for his carrier and has asked me before if I would follow. I have not given a straight answer because I do not know. I do not know because I fear the idea. I fear the idea of being far away from those I have depended on my whole life. I fear starting a new life of my own...especially with someone else.
I have a fear of commitment. I have a fear of being alone. I have a fear of being too dependent. I have a fear of being too independent. My life is nothing but fears and the depression it causes. I no longer know what to do. I can no longer hide this side of me like I have always tried. I need help...
And I'm afraid to ask for it.
With All My Love <3
S.L.u.G.
Deep, Surrounding, Suffocating.
This is what my depression feels like. I'm lost in a sadness that consumes me. An non-explainable feeling, but a feeling I need to express. To share. My head swarms with thoughts, fears, that take hold of me. It's like trying to swim against the current and never able to break the surface to catch even the smallest breath. My chest swells. A feeling that is not only painful, but unbearable in the way that it suffocates me. The tears are unstoppable. They are not cold, but streak down hot with the anger and the fears deep inside.
I keep it hidden from public because I find it shameful and weak. When it hits in public, I hide it behind a fake smile, or yawn and blame the tears on being sleepy. How could I let anyone see me in such a helpless state? It is easier to bare the sadness inside than it would be to bear the looks and whispers of the faceless figures all around.
"She has depression."
"The poor thing."
I don't want to take medicine to help my depression. The thought to have to rely on a pill sickens me. It makes me feel like I am broken and need to be fixed. Please...please...don't try to fix me. But I do need help. I don't know how to ask for it. My depression is getting worse. It happens more frequently. Part from my stressful job and life. I could finally reach my breaking point and lose. I could fall beneath the waves and give up on the struggle, allowing the current to pull me under and take me away.
Fears. They cause the depression. Fears of everything.
Of something happening to the ones I care. I constantly fear the loss of my little sister. She is the branch I hold onto that keeps me afloat. She is my world. We have almost lost her on multiple cases. I was the cause for one. I think about it often and think about what would have happened if she hadn't survived. I dream often of something happening to her and losing her forever.
I fear my friendships. Fear that they are not strong enough to last, or that my friends really don't care. Don't care about...me...or our friendship. I take every excuse they have for not wanting to make time for me as a sign that they don't care. I read into every little joke too seriously, wondering if it really is just a joke...or if they really mean it. I'm just a tease to one of my best friends. He does nothing but poke fun towards me and make jokes at me. I know it is his way of showing he cares, but it hurts me deeply that I can't have a serious conversation with him...I once wanted to date him...My other best friend once made it clear that she would rather take pictures with complete strangers than with me...She's getting married and I found out via FB...and wasn't included in the wedding party...My last best friend...our relationship grew out of distrust. He didn't like me because he met me during a time when I was running high off of emotions and low on logic and did something stupid. I fear that if his two friends hadn't been away from the dorms and school that year that we would have never become best friends. He's the closest friend I have and at the time when my depression hit the hardest, he asked "could this wait till tomorrow". The tears fall now just typing that.
Fears of the decisions I have made consume me. I fear the way they have an effect on my life and on the ones I hold dear. I have made a decision recently. I do not consider it a bad decision because it is something I want. My boyfriend always says we shouldn't regret the decisions we make because it is what we wanted...however, this decision has hurt him, and I haven't even the courage to tell him what it is that I did. Our relationship did not start off on solid ground (I cheated on my bf at the time to get into the relationship). I fear this has left a cap of non-trust in our relationship...and I fear that this decision will tear at the remaining trust when I do tell him. I must tell him...but I'm afraid. I'm afraid that he'll never look at me that same...that he'll be disappointed in me. It hurts me to think that I have disappointed him. I'm afraid of his reaction and the effects it will have on him. But I am also afraid that I am not ashamed of the decision...and I'm afraid of that decision. I am afraid because I do not know what will happen next.
The future scares me and brings me into my depression often. I worry about my job. Am I good enough? I just moved to a new house that I'm renting. What will happen if I get fired? Will they fire me? Am I giving them a reason to fire me? Last week I felt like I was. We run off of metrics that we need to meet each month. One of the metrics is based on how well we follow our schedule. Mine hasn't been meeting lately. My manager and area manager spoke with me about it last week. I felt like I was being punished. I felt weak again. It's a metric that should be easy to meet, but I couldn't even come close. What does that say about me? It made me feel like I was no good. I often feel like I'm no good at my job because of those metrics. I fear the unknown of my future. I try not to think about my future often (I like to live in the moment) and I feel that might be why I fear my future. Where have I gone in the past ten years? My ten year reunion for high school comes up in two years. What have I done since then? I barely graduated from college with a BA in English. I struggled with my first place where I had to leave it early and move back in with my parents and I'm just finally have moved out of my parents place. When I look back on what I have done on my life, it's like there there is no color in my life. I feel like I have accomplish nothing (though I know that I have). The best times of my life were in college and I feel like I never left. I am always stuck in my past, therefore; I cannot look towards my future. My boyfriend is looking at moving North for his carrier and has asked me before if I would follow. I have not given a straight answer because I do not know. I do not know because I fear the idea. I fear the idea of being far away from those I have depended on my whole life. I fear starting a new life of my own...especially with someone else.
I have a fear of commitment. I have a fear of being alone. I have a fear of being too dependent. I have a fear of being too independent. My life is nothing but fears and the depression it causes. I no longer know what to do. I can no longer hide this side of me like I have always tried. I need help...
And I'm afraid to ask for it.
With All My Love <3
S.L.u.G.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Disappear
Would you notice
if I
disappeared?
Would the silence
make your ears
ring,
with the longing
of my
voice?
Would you see
the empty
chair?
Would the picture
frame remain
upon the
shelf?
Would my face
stay in your
mind?
How quickly would
I be
replaced?
One, Two, Three
Days,
Weeks, Months?
With All My Love <3
S.L.u.G.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
NaNoWriMo: Week 3
Week 3: (Nov. 18th-Nov. 21st):
Prompt: Write from the point of view of a freshly scrubbed floor. Monday: 11/18/2013
It was nice. The bath. I hadn't had one in a while.
(I wanted to write more, but Monday was really busy at work.)
-
Prompt: Write a pure dialogue story. Make your story move along by using dialogues *only*. No narration, no description...just dialogues. Tuesday: 11/19/2013
"Su, why so serious all of the time?"
"I'm not all the time."
"Take no offense, but lately you don't seem like yourself."
"I'm still the same."
"No, you're not. When I joke around with you, you are normally joking back. Lately, all I get is sarcasam as a reply."
"Sorry."
"I'm just joking...or am I?"
"You are. You always are."
"You don't like me joking with you?"
"Not twenty four seven. It gets...irritating after so much."
"Sometimes, that's half the point. Not to mention, it's funny as barfunkels."
"It's not to the irritated party, and what is a 'barfunkels'?"
"Barfunkels is just a silly word meant to make you laugh. Sheesh, with that additute I can't help but wonder if you're still going to come to my party this weekend."
"I don't know if I will."
"That's a heartbreaker! That means you don't want to be friends with me anymore. I'm not your enemy, you know."
"Come on! I'm not saying I don't want to be friends anymore!"
"Yeah, right. I totally believe that. You aren't yourself, Susan. Something is bothering you. It's like you're...well, I don't know, but I wish I did."
"It's nothing important. I just miss my old life. The one I had before work, where I could just go out and hang out with friends when I wanted to."
"So you do miss hanging out with me! I was afraid for my life, but your soul is still intact!"
"You're a goofball."
"Ha! Ha! That's the Susan I know."
(This was inspired by a text conversation I was having with one of my best friends)
-
Prompt: List 30 uses for a hanger. Wednesday: 11/20/2013
Use 1: Get into old trucks that are locked. (one of my ex-boyfriends had to do this multiple times cuz he had a bad habit of locking himself out of his truck)
Use 2: Getting objects from small areas (from holes, crackes between bigger objects, etc.)
Use 3: Puppets on a stick! (lol. random idea)
Use 4: Tie objects together when you don't have rope (though idk why someone wouldn't have rope but would have a hanger...)
Use 5: Make metal models/designs
Use 6: Reach high places (like bending it into a hook)
Use 7: Back scratcher!
Use 8: Poke holes into plastic (other objects) (Like when needing to get past those pesty movie plastic covers and you don't have another sharp object or long finger nails (like me))
Use 9: Sling shot (if you have rubber bands)
Use 10:
-
Prompt: What can you create based from this B-movie plot: In a cursed town of chaos, a wizard and seven dutchesses go on a quest to find the cure for a deadly disease. Thursday: 11/21/2013 and 11/22/2013 Pothos, Adephagia, Vena, Aergia, Angerona, Elpis, Shahnaz and Gwydion.
In the town of Teivel the sun never shines, the birds never sing, and most importantly, the people never smile. The only sounds heard throughout the day insist of groaning buildings and a deep screech that continues throughout the inexistint hours. Worn shoes stump through the deep brown mud never going anywhere. Shoulders bump strangers yet no words are exchanged. Faces of empitines stare at nothing. Suddenly, yells break the silence, mub begins to fly, scratching, biting, howling, everyone on top of another, forguin objects lose their owners and then...silence. Shoulder bump strangers and no words are exchanged. Every cycle of continous silence then break outs of complete chaos the people of Teivel speand their lives. However, that was about to change with the start of the first person ever leaving the town hidden in the mub.
A thickness of gray hangs in the air clothing the creaking buildings. One of the buildings sits alone, a sign with a smoking vile screwly drawn on it hangs above a black door.
(I have found major inspiration in writing this story! I'm planning on working on it for the final week of November!)
Week 3 of NaNoWriMo has come and gone! I hope my inspiration has spread out to the world some more!
With All My Love <3
S.L.u.G.
Friday, November 15, 2013
NaNoWriMo: Week 2
Week 2 (Nov. 11th -Nov. 14th):
Prompt: Imagine your life is now a book. In 100 words, write the blurb for it (It's what people will read on the back cover.) Monday: 11/11/2013
This sizzling new piece adventures into the life of Susan Getman as she discovers that no matter the distance she tried to make between herself and her childhood home, the memories will follow her. The author's details explode off the page
I have no inspiration to write today. I found an amazing web site with a bunch of writing prompts on it (http://www.creativewritingprompts.com/)
--
Prompt: List 20 things you're afraid of. Pick one fear and write about it. Tuesday: 11/12/2013
List:
Heights
Losing loved ones (especially my dad and little sister)
Letting loose my anger
Drowning
The brakes on my truck failing
I can't think of 20 things I'm afraid of. Heck, I don't even think I'm afraid of 20 things! So, instead of listing 20 and talking about 1, I'm just going to just list the top 5 that came to mind (listed above) and say something short about each fear. (I re-looked at the prompt later this week and discovered that it had acctually said "annoy" instead of "afraid" but I think that listing and talking about the things I fear turned out better than what annoys me.)
Heights: I've always had a fear of heights. I don't really know where it came from. I've never fallen from a high place or have had any other reason to be afraid of heights. It's almost silly, being afraid of something that can't do harm unless you invoke it. By invoke I don't mean that you climb to high places for the fun of it. To me, in order to be afraid of heights, something has to be attached to that fear. To invoke the fear of heights, one must place her/himself in a high situation. Wither it be rollercoasters, ladders, or tall buildings, there has to be a factor for the fear to take effect. In my case, it's normally any place high that is moving or where my feet aren't touching a solid/full service. So, rollercoasters and ladders are deffiently factors that play in my height fear. However, I feel that there are two forms of the fear of heights. The first is the fear of falling from high places (hence ladders and rollercoasters), but there's a second fear that many people don't think about when someone says "I'm afraid of heights". This is the fear of jumping from high places. I know that doesn't seem to match up, but truthfully, the most time I have fear of heights is when I'm on a high place and I look over the edge. At my college, we had a sunbathing roof that looked over a sand volleyball court. The place wasn't high and didn't really scare me, but sometimes when I was up there hanging out with friends (hardly ever went there by myself for some reason) I would look over the edge down at the volleyball court and think to myself, "I wonder what it would feel like if I feel from here". Creepy, right!? I think it's that one thought right there that makes me afraid of heights the most.
Losing Loved Ones (especially my dad and little sister): I believe this is a very common fear. Everyone in their life time seems to have this fear in his/her life. Sometimes it happens during a short period of time (like during the illness of said loved one) or it can be for that whole person's life (a mother in reguards to her child). In reguards to my dad and my little sister it's the later reason. My dad is the main structor of my family. If it weren't for him, I don't know where my life would be right now, or the life of everyone else in my family. He may be strict at times and act before he thinks when he becomes angry, but he's always been there for us and he's always trying to teach us what's right and what we need to survive. That's why I don't lose him. I feel if I ever lost my dad, I would no longer know how to survive. Clearly I am a very dependent person, lol. My little sister is very much like the mother/child reference. Though she isn't my child (clearly), I feel like I should be her protector. We've about lost her many times as she was growing up. Not because she has health issues or something was wrong when she was born, but because of my stupidity. The only stiches she's ever recieved was because I hit her in the head with a swing. She about died when I wasn't watching her at a football game and she fell out of the bleachers (and we were at least ten rows up). That day still haunts me. I have dreams of her dying different ways (usually caused by my older sister's actions [the details about that don't need to be known yet]) with me being there but unable to stop her. The fear of losing her is deep within side of me and the hardest one for me to fight.
Letting Loose my Anger: If anyone who knows my in person reads this they might die of a laughing fit. I'm not known as one to get angry and when I do, many people just laugh it off as me not being serious. The truth is, I have deep German and Irish blood in me through my dad's side of the family and I have my dad's temper. The only thing is, I have control over that temper (part of which I think comes from my mom's side of the family). Even with my control of my anger, there are times where I can feel my anger boil to where I really want to snap someone's neck. I don't really know where this anger comes from most of the time and I always manager to stop it before it's too late and I really do explode, but I fear that one day, I may be pushed to the final point to where I no longer care and I'm just going to break. I've never reached that point and I don't know what it would look like, but the feeling associated with coming close makes it seem like it would be scary...very scary.
Drowning: This isn't an irrational fear, but it is for me. I'm good a swimming. I'm not like Olymipic good (never had a reason to be), but you can throw me out into the middle of a lake or pool and I'll be alright. Heck, I'll be more than alright! I love swimming. I would go swimming every day if I could, and if glorine isn't such a hassle, but I'm still afraid of drowning. It's mainly the idea of how drowning would feel. My boyfriend always tells me that drowning is a peaceful way to go, but I think he's crazy.
(I didn't get to finish my list! :'( )
--
Prompt: suelena (ignore the name please. Spoke to someone with that name and liked it. Might use it in a story in the future)
Use all these words in a poem: crash, crumpled paper, straw, gravel, ochre. Wednesday: 11/13/2013
Crumpled paper, scattered on the ground,
by a foot, they lay all around.
A table, turning, spinning,
a foot pumping the dancing rythem.
Gravel and Ochre crash upon each other
absorbing the vibrations
(I clearly did not finish the poem but I kind of like it the way it is. I might finish it sometime in the future.)
--
Prompt: Use the following metaphors in a poem: a pitcher of bitterness, a taste of sacrifice, a house of delight. Thursday: 11/14/2013
Bloody
Moon
shines in
a house of delight
Yellow Yoke
f
a
l
l
i
n
g into
a pitcher
of bitterness
(It's almost like I made two haikus instead of one poem. I really like them. One of my favorite things about poems is that the words don't have to make perfect sentences and they don't have to line up letter next to letter. Some of my favoirte poems have the words flying everywhere or even create pictures. It's a pretty cool way to "freely" write.)
There you go for week 2 of NaNoWriMo! I hope I helped inspire the writer inside someone!
With All My Love <3
S.L.u.G.
Friday, November 8, 2013
NaNoWriMo
Hello Everyone:
It's that time of the year again. The time of year when the leaves start changing colors, the wind gets a little bit chillier, and everyone starts craving pumpkin flavored drinks. That's right! It's fall!! I love fall, but that's not what I want to talk about in my blog. I haven't had a blog in a while and the last one was a big rant and kind of depressing, so I thought I would talk about something that would be a little bit more interesting for those who do (or do not) actually read my blog.
The subject I am interested in blogging about is something I'm actually planning on talking about for the next few blogs. The reason behind that is because it is about something that happens each year in this paticular month. It's November, and Nobember is known for having many different "holidays" going on during the course of its 30 days. There's Thanksgiving, the Holiday that my paticular country (USA) celebrates on the last Thursday of the month. Many people celebrate what's called No Shave November where males, and sometimes women, go the entire month without shaving any hair (that includes on all places that hair may appear on the body). One of these traditions is what I want to blog about throughout the next few blogs but it's not one of the ones mentions above. The tradition I want to talk about is mainly known amoung writers. It's called NaNoWriMo.
What is NaNoWriMo? NaNoWriMo, also known as National Novel Writing Month, was started back in 1999 in the month of July. Based off of the internet, NaNoWriMo encourages a creative writing project to create a new novel of 50,000 words during the month of November. That's the just of what NaNoWriMo and I mentioned I wanted this to be an interesting blog, and history lessons aren't interesting...well, not to me, anyways. For more information about NaNoWriMo, visit the wikipedia link below.
I'm not actually participating in writing a 50,000 word novel, but I thought that with NaNoWriMo going on, it would be a great time to start back up on writing. I haven't done much writing since I left college and most writing I have done have either been small blogs (mainly rants or random topics), incomplete blogs never finished/posted, and short poems not shared anywhere. I wanted to start small which is why I decided not to do the actual novel but came up with my own little idea. I decided that Mon-Thur I would find/create writing prompts and write them throughout my work shift (I work at a call center and am working on writing between incoming calls) and then on Friday I am going to write a blog including the writing prompts and what I managed to complete. Most of the blogs aren't going to be this long (I won't have to re-explain myself) and will just include the prompt and what I was able to complete and what days I did them (day and date included). I hope that by doing this I can encourage others to write more (you're free to use the prompts I do!) and to help build my writing.
Week 1 (Nov. 4th-Nov. 7th) (Note: I missed the Friday before and am not doing weekends. I also missed the first Monday)
Prompt: A young woman sits crying on the bench. A man approaches, and almost decides to walk away. He doesn’t. He hands the woman a tissue and asks her why she’s crying. What does she tell him? Tuesday: 11/05/13
ACT 1: SCENE I.
(Curtain opens, a middle aged woman sits in the middle of the stage on a wooden bench. Her head hangs down, her hair hiding her face, while her shoulders heave up and down as she softly weaps. The sound of tapping echoes throughout the theater. An eldery man with a cane enters stage left. He walks past the woman on the bench and stops a few feet away. Hesitating, as if to continue on, the man looks back at the woman before turning around and taking a seat next to her)
Man: Sure is a nice day. (pause) Shame you're spending it looking at the fealthy ground. (pause)
Woman: (continues to weap)
Man: (sighs, pulling out a handkerchief offering it to the woman) Here.
Woman: (accepts handkerchief, blowing her nose and wiping her eyes) Thanks. (Offers handkerchief back)
Man: (raises hand) No, keep it. You need it more than me.
Woman: (Nods and folds handkerchief in lap) Thank you again. God only know how horrible I must look. Sitting here, bawling my eyes out on a bench for everyone to see.
Man: How about spilling it out of your mouth to one old man instead of out of your eyes for a whole crowd?
Woman: (smiles) It wouldn't be anything you would want to listen to.
Man: I have three daughters. I've spent most of my lift listening to their woes. I think I can handle listening to the woes of one more.
Woman: It's more of a worry than a woe. I woke up this morning and realized my life had stopped moving forward. All of my friends are either moving up in their desired career path or getting married and starting a family. While I'm sitting here having done the same job for three years with no possibility of a family in the future. There's nothing for me to look forward to in the future, or even throughout the day.
Man: For a lady so well defined it is hard to believe that you have nothing to look forward to within a 12 hour period. (leans on cane as he speaks) What could cause you to feel this way?
Woman: (leans back and looks up at the sky then sighs) Everything.
Man: What is "everything" to you?
Woman: Isn't everything the same for everyone?
Man: Everything to me is my walking cane (taps cane), my wonderful wife of fifty years, our three beautiful daughters and one son, and our grandchildren. Is that your everything?
Woman: (sits stuned for a minute) I never considered everything as being something important to yourself. I just thought that everything was what effects your life.
Man: Everything is what effects your life, but not in the way you seem to believe that your life is being effected by it. Think about your view of everything right now. What is it?
Woman: (sits silently) ... (starts to speak then stops. Hangs her head and sighs) Everything...is nothing.
--
Prompt: Ten items, one place. What are the items and where are they located. List the items but only discribe the place (don't mention where it is). Wednesday: 11/06/13
Items:
ONE table
TWO candles
THREE wine glasses
Four napkins folded
Five invitations
SIX colors
SEVEN precious stones
EIGHT
NINE ribbons
TEN statues
(I didn't get around to figuring out an eighth number or describing the place, so if you want, feel free to leave your opinion of what you believe the place to be)
--
Prompt: Write a short story with at least one of the following sentences appearing in it somewhere:
...and that is how it's going to be from now on.
It was on a cold, rainy day...
The last thing I/he/she could remember was...
I scratched my dog behind his ear as I walked out the front gate.
...then I/he/she had that dream.
Thursday: 11/07/2013
The last thing he could remember was the weight. The pressure upon his chest felt like he had been pushed under water. He was breathless while the cause for the pressure on his chest breathed heavely in his ear. The breath smelt moldy and of raw meat as it hanged around his neck. He swallowed, preparing for what was going to happen next. It felt rough and slippery as the wet tongue slid up and down his cheak. He laughed as he rubbed the great dane behind the ears. The collar around the dog's neck jingled back and forth, the shine of the word "Buddy" catching his eye. The next thing, his world had gone black.
There you go for week 1 of NaNoWriMo! I hope I helped inspire the writer inside someone!
With All My Love <3
S.L.u.G.
Saturday, September 15, 2012
Making Bills and Roommate Issues
Hello Everyone:
Has anyone ever told you not to be roommates with a friend? I've been given that advise many times and have even given that advise to a few people, but back in April or March I suggested moving in with my best friend from college. I thought that this was a good idea because I could handle her whining and constant complaining. Also, she is a neat person, and while I'm not that neat, I could handle her neatness and her bad OCD. Well, after a few weeks of living with her, I realized that I couldn't handle all of that. In fact, most of it bugged the heck out of me every single day. But, then I noticed more that would end up causing big issues between us and our living arrangements. One of those problems was that my roommate likes to take up space. And by taking up space I mean she seems to have to have all of the space. My roommate lived near the town we were getting a place at and therefore was the one to pick out the apartment. Because of this, it seems that it's her apartment and I'm just staying with her. She has literary taken over the whole living room to where all I have in there is a book shelf and a poster. She organized the kitchen herself and that is when I discovered that she lacks the ability to organize. I've tried rearranging parts of it multiple times to make it work better just to come back to it to the way it was before. I had asked if I could place my bathroom stuff that my older sister had given to me for my birthday in the restroom, but my roommate told me that no her stuff had to go in there because "it's covered in duckies! we can have a duckie themed bathroom!". I also had plans for the closets we have in the living room and the big one in the hallways. I wanted to place our cleaning supplies in the small closet in the riving room so that it was right where we needed it and then I wanted to use the big closet in the hallways for jackets and shoes. Well, my roommate ended up stuffing the small closet in the living room full of boxes with her "left-over" belongs still in them and then placed her bicycle in the big closet because she didn't want to hang it up in the laundry room or lock it to the back porch. My roommate also has a pet cat. This is okay with me because I like cats. What is not okay with me is where the litter box is located. My roommate placed it in the laundry room. I like the fact that having it there keeps the odor from being every where else in the apartment. What I don't like about it being there is that cat litter gets all over the floor where clean clothes accidentally get dropped when being switched from the washer to the dryer and where feet step in it trying to get to something on the shelf because her roommate decided to put the useful stuff farthest away from the door and the useless stuff close to the door. Believe it or not but those are the minor problems bugging me right now. The really big problem bugging me right now is that my roommate wrote two bad checks at the beginning of the month. The first bad check went to the electricity bill and the second one went to her half of the rent. I'm horrible at managing money. I even talked about it previously in this blog. My roommate, one the other hand, has managed to be even worse than myself. And I spent over $5,000 in less than three months! Once I moved into the apartment I knew that I would have to change my money spending habits and start actually paying attention to how I spent it and how much I have on me. I've never had bills before and after I began to get them I started paying attention to my money. I've been barely pulling off paying bills and have needed a little help from my dad each time, but I have at least had the money to pay off the bigger portion of the bill. My roommate, however, started getting worse with her money when she move into the apartments. She stopped paying attention to how much she had in the bank and started to spend her money recklessly. To prove my point, my roommate bought a lizard two weeks ago. This was during the time of the month when bills are due. She even went and bought it while not knowing how much she had in the bank. How much did she spend on it? $200. She even bought it knowing that she didn't have the money to pay for it. The major problem now is that she was laid off of her temporary job. She went in knowing that the job was temporary and when she was laid off, she was surprised and kept expecting them to call her back quickly. The job won't end up calling her until the next big holiday comes around. That holiday is Thanksgiving! In fact, another person who works there told me today that she heard that they will not be rehiring until November. Also, though my roommate is aware that she won't be called in any time soon, she still refuses to search for another job and gets upset when her family tells her that she needs to. Also, one of her aunts has her own shop and will pay my roommate to help her work there. My roommate, however, refuses to work there except during the weekend because if her job does call her, they won't do it till 4pm...when she has to be at work by 4:30pm! And my roommate refuses to call them and to tell them that they need to let her know in the morning so that she can know if she works or not and be able to help her aunt when she doesn't or before she has to get ready to go to work.
That's all I really wanted to say. I'm just really stressed out because I don't want to end up being kicked out of my home and have to move back in with my parents leaving my job and the town that is close to my boyfriend. It's just really bugging me that my roommate would be so stupid and do such stupid things.
With All My Love <3
S.L.u.G.
PS: Oh, and my roommate got a notice today from the electric company about that bad check and was told that she needed to pay it off with an extra $30 late-fee or that the electricity will be shut off.
Has anyone ever told you not to be roommates with a friend? I've been given that advise many times and have even given that advise to a few people, but back in April or March I suggested moving in with my best friend from college. I thought that this was a good idea because I could handle her whining and constant complaining. Also, she is a neat person, and while I'm not that neat, I could handle her neatness and her bad OCD. Well, after a few weeks of living with her, I realized that I couldn't handle all of that. In fact, most of it bugged the heck out of me every single day. But, then I noticed more that would end up causing big issues between us and our living arrangements. One of those problems was that my roommate likes to take up space. And by taking up space I mean she seems to have to have all of the space. My roommate lived near the town we were getting a place at and therefore was the one to pick out the apartment. Because of this, it seems that it's her apartment and I'm just staying with her. She has literary taken over the whole living room to where all I have in there is a book shelf and a poster. She organized the kitchen herself and that is when I discovered that she lacks the ability to organize. I've tried rearranging parts of it multiple times to make it work better just to come back to it to the way it was before. I had asked if I could place my bathroom stuff that my older sister had given to me for my birthday in the restroom, but my roommate told me that no her stuff had to go in there because "it's covered in duckies! we can have a duckie themed bathroom!". I also had plans for the closets we have in the living room and the big one in the hallways. I wanted to place our cleaning supplies in the small closet in the riving room so that it was right where we needed it and then I wanted to use the big closet in the hallways for jackets and shoes. Well, my roommate ended up stuffing the small closet in the living room full of boxes with her "left-over" belongs still in them and then placed her bicycle in the big closet because she didn't want to hang it up in the laundry room or lock it to the back porch. My roommate also has a pet cat. This is okay with me because I like cats. What is not okay with me is where the litter box is located. My roommate placed it in the laundry room. I like the fact that having it there keeps the odor from being every where else in the apartment. What I don't like about it being there is that cat litter gets all over the floor where clean clothes accidentally get dropped when being switched from the washer to the dryer and where feet step in it trying to get to something on the shelf because her roommate decided to put the useful stuff farthest away from the door and the useless stuff close to the door. Believe it or not but those are the minor problems bugging me right now. The really big problem bugging me right now is that my roommate wrote two bad checks at the beginning of the month. The first bad check went to the electricity bill and the second one went to her half of the rent. I'm horrible at managing money. I even talked about it previously in this blog. My roommate, one the other hand, has managed to be even worse than myself. And I spent over $5,000 in less than three months! Once I moved into the apartment I knew that I would have to change my money spending habits and start actually paying attention to how I spent it and how much I have on me. I've never had bills before and after I began to get them I started paying attention to my money. I've been barely pulling off paying bills and have needed a little help from my dad each time, but I have at least had the money to pay off the bigger portion of the bill. My roommate, however, started getting worse with her money when she move into the apartments. She stopped paying attention to how much she had in the bank and started to spend her money recklessly. To prove my point, my roommate bought a lizard two weeks ago. This was during the time of the month when bills are due. She even went and bought it while not knowing how much she had in the bank. How much did she spend on it? $200. She even bought it knowing that she didn't have the money to pay for it. The major problem now is that she was laid off of her temporary job. She went in knowing that the job was temporary and when she was laid off, she was surprised and kept expecting them to call her back quickly. The job won't end up calling her until the next big holiday comes around. That holiday is Thanksgiving! In fact, another person who works there told me today that she heard that they will not be rehiring until November. Also, though my roommate is aware that she won't be called in any time soon, she still refuses to search for another job and gets upset when her family tells her that she needs to. Also, one of her aunts has her own shop and will pay my roommate to help her work there. My roommate, however, refuses to work there except during the weekend because if her job does call her, they won't do it till 4pm...when she has to be at work by 4:30pm! And my roommate refuses to call them and to tell them that they need to let her know in the morning so that she can know if she works or not and be able to help her aunt when she doesn't or before she has to get ready to go to work.
That's all I really wanted to say. I'm just really stressed out because I don't want to end up being kicked out of my home and have to move back in with my parents leaving my job and the town that is close to my boyfriend. It's just really bugging me that my roommate would be so stupid and do such stupid things.
With All My Love <3
S.L.u.G.
PS: Oh, and my roommate got a notice today from the electric company about that bad check and was told that she needed to pay it off with an extra $30 late-fee or that the electricity will be shut off.
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